March 30, 2012

I'm not a good adviser when it comes to...

Ada seseorang itu yang tengah melalui kesedihan yang terlampau lampau. kesedihan yang sama aku lalui almost half years yang lalu. I have no idea what to tell that person how to be cool with it.
bukan cuma dia tapi my others friends also have been through almost the same thing.


tak akan lah aku nak kata,
"Rileks sajaa. lama lama lupa lah tu okay. :) "

lama lama lupa? aku pun tak lupa lagi how can I say something like that?


or bagitahu,

"Kalau dia baik dia tak kan tinggalkan kau. Dah lah. Tak usah susah hati sebab orang jahat cenggitu. "

jahat? memang boleh kata macam tu tapi lepas tu sama gak perahsaan tu kan. buruk macam mana pun, cinta itu kan buta. sendawa kuat kuat pun nampak macho. kentut bau busuk pun jadi wangi. fikiran kurang waras pun nampak normal. ahakss..



mungkin boleh kata,
"Dia tu tak layak walau untuk setitis air mata kau tau."

setitis air mata? aku pun dah perhabiskan berbaldi baldi air mata. macam mana nak kata kat dia jangan nangis.


"Why don't you kill yourself?"

bagusnya nasihatkann. memang berhasil. you will completely forget about them sebab ur brain is DEAD. not only your brain. you also will be dead.  -,-





lihatlah pandanglahhh....
I am not good in giving an advice. when people tell me about their broken hearted, I can be a listener and I always have a pleasure to hear it but to make they feel good with giving advice...I don't know how to do it. 


as for me, if I feels like to throw things or scream or knock my head, I will 
  • take a bath then nangis. after that pampered myself
  • solat and pray to Allah and while doa tu crying like gila gila punya leebih dari biasa
  • baca Yassin sebab orang kata ayatnya ubat penenang jiwa
  • having some conversation yang boleh buat rasa ini chill and happy



sangat sedikit kan bendanya..
maybe you can share with me how to go through all the things yang susah nak keluar dari kepala ni so I can tell my other friends. 
that's all I guess.
Assalamualaikum. :)






March 29, 2012

I miss..

I miss to smile everyday.
I miss to try to be better.
I miss to type a better entry.
I miss to sing a happy song.
I miss to act like a kid.
I miss the old me.


I miss to have a call until 3-4 hours.
I miss to talk like the conversation have no ended.
I miss to heard everything nice about me even it is not true.
I miss to be watched.
I miss to complain my bad day.
I miss to have a sweet text.
I miss...





March 28, 2012

Nak balik dahh..


Barang dah mula dikemas sikit. sikit je lah. tak banyak. kerajinan belum kunjung tiba lagi. tunggu last day paperr baru dia mengunjung. kemas awal awal pun buat apa. sikitt pun tak terasa ekksaited nak balik sebab cuti kejap je. HAHA :D

sadis.  :|



disebabkan cuti tersangat pendek jadi aku pun tak ada niat nak keluar bersiar siar menikmati panorama yang indah dekat OU or Sunway or Econsave dengan rakan rakan.
Econsave??? ahakss. dan apa yang indah sangat tu? entah.


kalau siapa siapa nak ajak date ke sila buat appointment awal awal yea sebab 'artis' ni sangat sibuk waktu cuti ini. banyak benda nak kena buat. sangat sibuk di banggunan 'office' dia yang berbumbung merah yang didepannya ada pokok mangga tu. *rumah aku lah tu. -,- *


didepan banggunan 'office'.
tak boleh tahan tengok Cicot angkat kening sebelah berlagak TheRock.
HAHAHA :D



by da wayy, ada orang ingat saya masih in relationship dengan kekasih lamaa! mai nak kasi peringat sikit,
ceq solo ja la ni. senang sikit nak bergerak. okay?  :)

March 25, 2012

Senyum dalam mimpi.

sebelum tidur kita senyum sambil bisik sendiri.
kita nak bangun penuh dengan semangat, kita kata pada diri.
kita nak lupakan segala yang berlaku pada masa yang lalu.
kalau orang lain boleh buat kenapa pula kita tak mampu?

esok paginya kita bangun kita cuba panggil semangat.
tapi yang datang menyahut..
cerita yang lalu.
senyuman tak menjadi, hati pula jadi sayu.

kita tutup mata semula,
kita lena sekali lagi.


dalam mimpi kita senyum kembali.
kita dapat mimpi bahagiaaa sekali.


kita bangun, senyum mengikut sekali.
tapi kita fikir kembali.
kenapa cuma dalam mimpi?

senyum...
tak sanggup bertahan lama lagi.

kenapa kita cuma senyum dalam mimpi?
kenapa bahagia cuma dalam mimpi?


macam kita terbang dalam mimpi.
itulah dia.
dia mimpi. dia bukan realiti.

March 24, 2012

Two Decades of Me.

kenapakan kenapakan?
umur aku dah dua dekad.

HAHA! silly question to ask. -,-


I was born on First of March 1992. lagi sikit nak terkeluar masa leap day.
nenek kata saya baik je masa kecik kecik. senyap je. shomey shomeyy jeee. ahaks. :D


everyone will said they are not a good kid masa kecik kecik dulu. begitu juga saya.
tapi bro, itulah sebabnya..
betapa bahagia jadi budak budak ni. :DD
betapa sakit kepalanya jadi orang dewasa ni.  -___________-'








start sekolah rendah dah mula memikul tugas sebagai seorang kakak. saya memang kakak yang taiko and gangster. ask my sistahh if you don't believe me. ciyes punye cerita neyy.
dan kembali jadi seorang malu malu kucing bila depan orang lain. agagaga~



masa sekolah menengah semua orang sibuk bebenar nak habiskan sekolah. nak free!!! tak nak mengadap muka cikgu dah. most of us have this spirit to go to school not because of the exciting feeling to learn a new chapter dalam silibus. tapi sebab nak bertepuk bertampar dengan kawan.
including me.  :)

and this is the most TOP SECRET.
masa tingkatan dua dah ada prince charming. he is one of the reason lah kenapa semangat nak datang sekolah. dan juga reason kenapa sukaaa sangat tengok kat luar tingkap bila masa rehat senior. harharharrr! dah tak jadi secret dah. ommaii..
biasalah masa tu budaks lagi.





dan sikalang tengah belajar course Computer Science which I don't know should I feel regret for taking this course or not sebab ada Calculus. -,-
joking joking. everything that happened have their own reason. remember that Aqilah. :)




tidak tahu nak nulis apa lagi sebab feeling nak menaip tiba tiba dah habis. 
akhir perenggan..


kadang orang tak kan boleh mengetahui kita dengan dua tiga kali bicara.
tak kan boleh memahami kita melalui kesukaan. 
tak kan boleh kenal kita melalui penulisan. 


sedangkan tuan punya badan pun kadang tak memahami diri dia sendiri.


Assalamualaikum. :)

March 21, 2012

I wish I have that kind of Fameileyy.

Assalamualaikum.

Nak paksa ni. nak paksa tengok video ni.
no lah. I'm just kidding. :)

video credit to Maria Elena.






Yeahhh I know sekarang bukan tengah raya pun nak post video cenggini but what I'm trying to strees here is, *dah kuar dah omputih berterabor diaa*  if you watch this video masa tengah tengah tu you will see yang diaorang sangat sangattt lah sporting. tak perlu tengok tengah tapi tengok mula mula pun dah tahu. gila sporting nak miming lagu raya.


I'am soo jealous with them because I always wanted that kind of sporting family. bukan lah sporting bermaksud kena miming macam diaorang. -,-
Saudara mara yang you know macam mana right. yang treated us like a friends yang macam family sangat rapat. tak ada seorang pun tak terkecuali.

yang muda hormat yang tua.
yang tua sayang muda.

how nice is that. :)



lepas tu tangkap gambar ramai ramai yang macam gambar hudus-sporting-gitu, after that upload masuk facebook then tulis caption, 'I won't change them for anything. :)'
sweet kan? sweet kan?  :)

terlebih berangan. anganan yang tidak termampu untuk jadi kenyataan.

people nowadays. they have their own business. dunia ni antara dunia dengan diri diaorang je. terlalu susah untuk diaorang memikirkan dunia, diri sendiri, family.
masing masing dah besar tahu jaga diri kannnn.

rindu masa zaman kecik kecik masa semua tak kenal dunia lagi. :')

March 18, 2012

BFF. Life is teaching us.

I used to have someone to be there when I need. but then like you can see on my oldest entries. full with emotional things and stuff.

I hope you don't mind if I become emotional like always and write anything that I feel one because I just finished watched two movies.



'13 Going 30'

and

'16 Wishes'



both of the story have the happy ending but the weird thing is I'm the one who being emotional.  -,-

the story. it is completely about the BFF thingy. The sadest thing that I want to share with is I don't feel like I have one. BFF. I don't have it. We all know that BFF is all about

someone that love us
someone that we can depend with
someone that always be right there when we need them
someone that will go through all the thick and thin with us
someone that won't leaving us
someone that will wake we up if we do the wrong thing
and the list is too long and full with a good things


my mum said maybe it was my mistake and I agree with her. I didn't take care of our relationship. that is why it ended like this.

I lost my way, have no one to share with, I get angry with myself, can't forget any one of the memories and it keep come to me, got such a long thinking, and many else. sometime I feel like, am I going to be mad?


on my last birthday I feels disappointed. I thought it is because of the four test that makes me feel like that. I feel tired, I didn't go to my room after the last test on that night. I stood on the stairs and sat. I feel sad. I called my friends. I thought maybe they can cheer me up. Hanum got me. we have some gossip here and there but the smile didn't stay longer.

but actually I know the reason but I keep deny it because, it really disappoint me.



  • You know about the karma
  • You also know about the sentences, 'We won't realise until we lost it'.
  • You know that people can change.
  • You know about, 'You have to pay the price if you brake it.'


You know people that really love us won't let any one of the list 'You know..' to be happen to you.






Life is teaching us and Allah will always be with us.
I am in process to get over it.

Assalamualaikum. :)

Teluk Senangin with them. :)

today today today.

kenapa macam orang dah habis final je. -,-
eh. tak lah. release tension ni.


kononnyaa.. :)



malas nak elaborate panjang panjang like I always do with the other entries. why don't you just lay your eyes to every pictures that I put down here okay. enjoy it.



Here we are in Teluk Senangin. 




















Ready to go back to our campus. ;D





March 16, 2012

Dia Yang Menyakitkan Hati.

Another four papers to go. tapi jumlah nombor final paper yang berkurangan tu tetap tak mengurangkan rasa risau atau rasa release di hati.

walaupun dah tahu rasa risau tapi tetap tak boleh nak study awal awal. kata pacik hebad kita,



"study je dua jam before paper."


HAHAHA :D iyer lah tu kan.   -,-
ouh lupa. dia kan hebat. sebab tu he can do anything that  he want without any restriction. :P



muka nampak pelik. :O



talking about paper, pagi tadi baru habis satu paper. lepas tu kannn. ni nak gossip panasss ni.


malam tadi tengah study.
dalam mata tengah mengantuk masa study pukul 12 malam tadi ada orang yang sepatutnya diharamkan untukk call aku berani berani call malam tadi.


disebabkan dia menggunakan nombor yang baru, jadinya tertanya tanya siapa dan terrr angkat lah pula calling dia. kalau tahu dia memang tak lah aku nak angkat. betol punya cerita. pengakuan ikhlas. siap save number dia kat phone, 'Jangan Angkat' lagi tu. HAHAHHH

cakap pasal kahwinlah, nikahlah. kalau ada anak tapi tak nak bagi kat dialah.
apakahhh? sebelum lebih parah sakit di hati cepat cepat cakap secara tulus dan ikhlas bahawasanya bercakap dengan dia menyakitkan hati dan aku ada paper esok. :)



nak tahu siapa? orang yang paling menyakitkan hati yang pernah aku kenal. ada je kat sekitar kampus ni. barann je terasa tiap kali bila cakap dengan dia.

dah lah tengah study. kau bayangkan lah Jahhhh. lepas off call cepat cepat cucuk telinga dengan earphone dengar lagu Raihan. sampai macam tu sekali. selamat tak menganggu segala coding yang dah faham kat dalam kepala ni.  -.-'



bestkan cerita saya.  ;D
okay. tu je gossip nak habaq mai.
Salam. :)

March 15, 2012

March 13, 2012

Barang-barang lama.

Assalamualaikum.


today punye entry haaaa... gua nak kasi cerita pasal gua punya barang.

gua punya barang yang lama. sadiss. :(




banyak dah barang barang kesayangan yang rosak. :(
barang lama kann. tunggu masa nak terkulai layu je. kalau tak pakai kata dah diberi tak nak pakai. bila selalu pakai sebab suka then pecah, rosak. kata kita tak pandai nak hargai.

memang penoh dilemma.



simpan si cokolat kesayangan ni tak nak ada di depan mata.


nak ganti rasanya tak perlu buat masa ni.
sebab..sebabb...aaa... alasan macam biasalah kan.
ekonomi kureng. hahaha.  :D

other than that, it is not that easy to replaced things that we like for a long time like tiba tiba kan. macam orang yang mudah mengucapkan sayang pada orang yang berlawanan jantina. macam tu lah. eh. ke jauh sangat contohnya tu? hahaha  -,-
what I'm trying to said here is, it is not easy and even it don't have to be hard but it is more better if we make it not really easy for a mean time. takut kejutan budaya. eh. jauh lagi perumpamaannya. ;P


banyak sangat sentuhan emosi dan memori kat barang barang tuu. tidaklah tersanggup nak ganti yang baru. rasa macam better tak ada daripada diganti. :P




dan saya juga terperasan sendiri bahawasanya saya memang jenis kedekut.
okayokayy.. gurau sahaja.
kalau aku kedekut tak adalah almari kat rumah penuh dengan baju shopping sendiri
or tak adalah tiap tiap bulan gedik habiskan duit beli tiket untuk balik
or kedekut sampai tiap kali jumpa orang mintak belanja makan
orrr tak adanya aku belanja room mates Big Apple bila keluar pergi Ipoh. cewahhh... cepat cepat buat surat untuk jadi room mates aku. herherherrr... ;D



okay bye. cukup mengarut malam ni. tension baru lepas jawab paper.
tidur malam ni dengan senang hati. bangkit tidur dengan senyuman.
Insyallah dan salam. :)



p/s: tiba tiba terdengar lagu Doa Perpisahan 
yang selalu dengar dulu bila sedih. :')

I'm Back! :)

Assalamualaikum.




HAHAHA   XD

okay. gelak sorang sorang sampai pecah perot and then tutup muka.

baru sedar aku tak unhide balik blog ni.




waaaaaaaa!



malu sendiri. -,-
mana nak sorok muka neyy....








confident post entry baru haritu. harharharrrr....


aaa...ehem. tak payah nak gelak kan tuan empunya blog ni lebih lebih sangat lah yea. hahaha :D



anyway, terima kasih kepada yang menegur tidak sudah kenapa blog sayee tak boleh dibaca. hehehe... >.<

March 11, 2012

Dear, Taylor Swift. Did you read my diary?

Tengok.... baru sehari hide tak tertahan hati ni meronta nak jenguk blogg and write something on it.



I've changed my mp3 song. Macam tak sesuai lagu ala ala emo tapi background blog full with colours. Ada melah, bilu, kuning, olen, ijau. harharharrr...  :D  pelat. 

Lagu ni dah lama tapi baru terjumpa masa usha youtube lepas tengok video Mathluthfi. 




She's looks lovely.  :)



Entah dah berapa kali replay lagu ni sebab lagu ni beshhh! XD 
It's a song by Taylor Swift. 
It feels like she's the one who read my diary because I always found that I have  the same situation like all the song that she have wrote and sing dari duluuu lagi sampai sekarang.




"You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
But I never thought I'd live to see it break"
- Haunted by Taylor Swift



"I know people change and these things happen
But I remember how it was back then"
- If This Was A Movie by Taylor Swift



"These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leavin'
When your birthday passed and I didn't call."
-Back To December by Taylor Swift




But everyone know that all the song that she wrote is about herself.   :)




"Some of the things I wrote about are things everyone saw me go through. Some of the things I wrote about are things nobody ever knew about." -Taylor Swift





enough about her song.
I cried after I read my dear friend blog, Aqilah Akmal.  :')



Terima kasih kerana menyinggah dan salam.
:)



March 7, 2012

Last night conversation.

Assalamualaikum.

Adalah tidak sepatutnya yea bangun awal pagi ni badan rasa tidak sihat. :(
gara gara terdedah dengan kesejukan malam terus badan panasss.  
but maybe bila dah sampai ipoh nanti teros sihat kot. who knows right? ;D



I have a very nice conversation last night. so many things that we talk about rasa macam dah lama kawan pun ada cuma kadang agak sedikit kekok yeaa untuk menyelit buat lawak yang tak kelakar sebab jarang bertegur. 

dari dulu sepatutnya macam tu tapi percayalah, semua yang terjadi ada sebab musababnya. :)



macam ni lah perasaan malam tadi.
hahahaha
=.='



anyway, have a good day u'oolllsss.
start ur day with smile even though bangun bangun tu rambut tengah serabai macam apa jee, tetap senyum je. harharharrr... tak boleh dibayangkan. -.-'

March 6, 2012

Stop Writing! Wondering.

Assalamualaikum.


I already told myself to stop writing about this olang ni but I just can't. HAHA

tolong jangan salah faham. 
it's not about kebengangan di hati dan di jiwa. it's aboutt....
I just can't tell the over all of the story.


Like I said this before I already manage to stop thinking about that olang tu kannn.. lepas tu something happened. sesuatu yang buat aku wondering tidak sudah.

then, this past few days I saw something, watch it with I don't know what to call it. bukan lah tengok dengan bersemangat, tapi more to something yang supposed aku rasa macam gunung berapi meletus lagi lagi dengan pembuka katanya. tapi sebaliknya tiba tiba habis tengok aku jadi more release.


aku terfikir dan teringat balik.
teringat apa yang pernah disebut dan diceritakan.
bertuah. :)









walaupun release, tetap ada sedikit terrrsakit di hati. sepatutnya dari dulu lagi okay. tapi i just don't know why it takes to long to be like this.

seriously I have no bad purpose but I do really want to meet you. ikhlas.

March 3, 2012

On My Birthday.

Tadi. Habis paper, pergi uptown, beli milo ais, beli kerepek, mumbling with my friends about the test that we've done, balik bilik dan duduk atas katil macam orang baru putuihh cinta. That is really really reallyyyyy SAD man.

seriously. 



minggu last ni memang minggu yanggg... I don't know how to explain. too stress, soo tension, soo many things to be remember. lagi lagi satu march yang macam tarikh yang  instead of to be a really happy day for me menjadi hari yang paling menggila sebab ada 3 test haritu and I can't pretend to be relax about the three test. 

dan lastly I can't do with very well untuk test yang terakhir pada haritu membuatkan rasa nak nangis kuat kuat macam orang hilang anak. wuuu....



esoknya which is semalam, habis test for DataStrok *data structure*, hantar kawan yang sorang tu nak naik bas balik kampung sekali pusing bersiar siar kat tesco like usually. -.-'  
having a lunch kat KFC. they are trying to make me angry. walaupun aku tak marah tapi kelihatan macam orang marah dengan ayat tacing sebab mood marah tengah menyubur dalam diri tatkala itu. *ayat nak power lagak skema je kannn?

after that ce teka, ce teka.



Happy Birthday to youuuu..
Happy Birthday to Aqilah....
Happy Birthday to you...

:')






I can't really show my real expression on that time. I feels like to hug four of them and tell them, terima kasih korang sebab buat surprise. :')

tetapi apa kan daya. sebelum sempat terzahir benda tu semua suddenly mengingatkan a moment yang exactly like that. 



even though tak boleh lah pula peluk through internet but still I would like to say to Ainy, Shida, Day and Liyana,



Thank you Sayangssss kuasa dua puloh.
I lapp you soo strong like a love song bebeh!
:D




Hari ni balik rumah, yeayy! Please be jealous. *evil laugh   HARHARHARRR 
kekejaman orang yang dah berusia 20 tahun memang macam ni. ;DD
20 years old? Alhamdulillah .. tua sudeyy.. -,-


Thank you for all the wishes bagi yang wish tu dan thank you juga bagi yang wish di dalam hati. hehehh..
Assalamualaikum. :)